As any thinking blogger must do, I am currently grappling with the establishment of a code of conduct regarding how much of my personal life I want to reveal online. There's a part of me that wants to keep it entirely anonymous, to talk about
other things, to approach it journalistically. There's the other part of me that wants to explain myself to the world, to see if I can reach anyone out there who maybe has similiar thoughts and experiences.
I've decided for now to err on the side of talking about me, to tentatively dip my toe in the water of self-revelation, if it can be called that. Because. I've been thinking a lot lately about the past couple years of my life. I think it's a late-twenties thing. From what I can tell,
everyone in their late twenties starts to think a lot about their lives. I think it has something to do with emerging from childhood, and with facing the reality of life, rather than the dreams you had for it, head on. When I was twenty, I probably thought that I would have become something much bigger by now than I have. So there's a certain resignation that has to take hold, that THIS IS MY LIFE. This is it. So all of us in our late twenties have to stop waiting for life to take off and to realize that it already has, and this is what it is.
Also, I've been disappointed in the past year. I found something that I wanted very badly, and I couldn't get it, and I probably dealt with it in a way that could not by any stretch be labeled mature. I'll admit that I've gotten my way with my fair share of things in life, so when this particular thing failed to go my way, I didn't have as much precedent as I maybe should have to fall back on. I didn't know the proper way to react, I just reacted. I pissed some people off, and now I'm regretful.
I may explain myself in more detail at some point soon. Depends on how I feel about this post in a few days.